RazorBladeJake

He's all I want Hes what i want..hes all ill ever need

cuz whats a babe without his boo? I need my branden bleed

i love him to, quite alot i do..i need him by my side

to wash away the pain in tears from this life ive cried

from dark past i find at last a beacon in the fog

for i know the future will show that hes my only god

he makes me happy, truly happy and between you and me

I'm half a person, passion burning, my hearts in tennesse

MY DAD GOT LAID OFF TODAY AND LET ME JUST SAY...

THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS!

THANKS ALOT EX-PRESIDENT BUSH!

YOU DID A FINE ASS JOB OF RUINING OUR ECONOMY

SO WE GO INTO IRAQ FOR OIL...TRY TO SECURE OURSELVES UNDER THE COVER OF "WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION" WHEN ALL ALONG WE WERE THE SO CALLED WEAPONS...WE DESTROYED OUR OWN ECONOMY AND HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT OURSELVES...

PRICES HAVE SKYROCKETED ON EVERYDAY NEEDS

BUT NO NEED TO WORRY(LOOKS LIKE GAS IS CHEAPER NOW! WOOT FUCKIN WOOT!)

(IS THAT JUST A COINCIDENCE?)

WE GO INTO ANOTHER COUNTRY AND KILL THE DICTATOR

RUIN THE LIVES OF HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF CIVILIANS

TRUE THAT 4,000 US TROOOPS WERE KILLED

BUT 100,000'S OF INNOCENT IRAQI AND MIDDLE EASTERN CIVILIANS HAD THEIR LIVES TOSSED ASIDE LIKE A BOX OF RAG DOLLS...WERE THESE YOUR NECESSARY EVILS?

REMEMBER HOW NO ONE WOULD SUPPORT US IN THIS WAR?

REMEMBER HOW ALL OTHER COUNTRIES PULLED OUT?

NOW WE HAVE A DEFICIT THAT IS OF UNIMAGINABLE PROPORTIONS.

WE ARE TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT

NO ONE IS HIRING

PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR JOBS

THEIR FAMILIES....

THEIR LIVELYHOODS..

BUT DONT WORRY...

YOU CAN STILL BUY GAS AT $2.OO A GALLON!

HOT AND SPICY CHEX MIX!

ITS QUITE OVERRATED DONT YOU THINK?

ANYWAYS..I'VE BEEN UBER BUSY LATELY TRYING TO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER....YEAH..

BUTBUTBUT...

(AND NOT THE ONE YOU SIT ON)

I HAVE ALOT OF NEW VIDEOS COMING OUT ON YOUTUBE! SO BE SURE TO CHECK THEM OUT AND SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL IF YOU ARENT ALREADY

YOUTUBE.COM/RAZORBLADEJAKEMUSIC

I JUST REDID MY LAYOUT FOR BUZZNET

(I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT)

I'M REALLY STARTING TO GET BACK INTO THIS SITE AGAIN AND IT MAKES ME UBER UBER HAPPY!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!

XOXO

RAZORBLADEJAKE

(P.S. IM GOING TO GO SEE THE MOVIE CORALINE TOMORROW!)

WHO'S SEEN IT AND WHAT YOU THINK?

I'm sorry I havent been updating as much as usual but I've just been so goddamn busy! butbutbut...

Im gonnna be on here alot more often!

workin on a new layout for my buzznet

woot woot!
xoxo

RazorBladeJake

So its that not so wonderful time of the year when people spend way too much money to buy each others love.

Candy

Stuffed Nonsense

Flowers

xo,ugh!

Not that I'm at all bitter, but come on

I've been single for...

QUITE SOME TIME NOW!

and I've finally opened myself up to the fact that I don't need somone to make myself feel worthy and all that shit.

At the moment, all I need is myself....

and when I find that special someone....maybe just maybe

I can be happy.

And

I can Love.

But for the rest of you...

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

<3

Some days I feel like I'm on top of the world.

Other days I feel like I'm going nowhere and have absolutely no future.

Where am I going in life, what am I doing?

Who am I?

The lines that were once written out so clearly have been blurred and smudged.

I feel so ugly and beautiful.

Worthless yet treasured.

Why?

Why would anyone care about little old me..and why should they?

I'm nobody...

but I'm ok with that.

Becuase I'm still learning who I am...and what I am.

Human.no.

Enigma.perhaps.

I can't get to close to you.

I can't let you in.

Becuase once your a part of me...I'll never let you go.

The nite falls, silence, darkness, my mind races.

I feel like I'm half a person. I'm looking so desperately for my other half. Where are you?

-faint dim light from my candles keep me company-

I'm waiting. I'm screaming out to you. Are you deaf to my calls? Where are you I wonder? Are you lost too in a sea of despair? Are you out there searching for me as well?

-darkness once again consumes me-

In this darkness, time lasts forever. I'm left with my thoughts and all the time in the world. But here I am left to lament and am stuck on myself. As I currently am. Without you. Alone. I can barely read these scribbles anymore. They're largely nonsensicle.-is that even a word?

stop think write stop think write

My feelings and emotions appear as pools of black on a lined sheet of paper. I may seem well constructed and that I have it all together, but secretly I'm dying without you. And I don't even know who you are.

The nite falls, silence, darkness.

pen to paper, ink flows onto blank sheets, fingers dance across the table, wrist aches, heart trembles, pupils dialate, stomach tightens..

Surely the emotion known as love makes us feel completely insane.  It obliterates our hopes and dreams.  It tears the fabric of our minds apart and leaves an abandoned city of fear and pain.  It hurts.  It makes you feel worthless, regardless of gender.  So why do we seek out something that hurts us so?

My seemingly neverending search for a boy to call my own is filled with many trials and tribulations that life enjoys watching us struggle through.  Whether it be distance, age, or a multitude of factors, it seems I should just accept being single for the rest of my life.

I'm always either too feminine, too masculine, too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too pretty, too something or other, or just as they put it "not my type".

I'm at the point in my life where I want to find someone who wants more than a 2 week relationship.  Am I not worthy of anything more than a one night stand?  Yeah sex is great, but making love with someone whom you are truly and deeply in love with is BEAUTIFUL.

Someone you could see yourself with forever.

Someone who understands you and would do anything for you.

a soulmate

a lover

Why does it have to hurt so bad?

Have you ever felt so alone?

Surrounded by those who love you but aren't in love with you.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs but no one can hear me.  Somone please hear this muffled voice.  Feel this bewildered heartbeat.  See this battered soul.  Heal the wounds I have inflicted upon myself.

Make me feel like myself again

Make me feel like I've never felt before.

Come to me and join me in my story, my life.

Let's turn our stories into OUR STORY.

sighs. sets down pen. closes eyes. sleeps and cries

Dreams.

As I lay here sipping from my mug of coffee(i think its the only thing keeping me alive) i feel so incredibly hungry.  I can't eat. I'm not worth the pleasure of food.  I'm starving to feel something other than the pain, the stress.  I could easily end it all, whether it be by the slit of my wrist, or my moms bottle of vicodin downstairs...

I can't let my darkness consume my body.  I won't give into the pain.  I must fight it, buts its a formidable foe. 

FATHER HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US??!?...make me feel even more worthless and alone.  Did you ever love me?  You ruined me yet again.  How do you expect me to forgive you?  You've called me a fag so many times that the word has lost its meaning.  YEAH IM A FAG. Is that what you wanted to hear???

I feel so alone

I have people behind me supporting me, but how long until those supports break? Everyone behind me, no one beside me... Take away my fears.  I've been looking for you for so long.  The perfect boy to make me feel whole again. 

Do you exist or are you only a figment of my imagination??

I've yet to find you.  Please find me soon.  Only you can help me fight my darkness, myself. Save me from myself.

Runaway from the noise and the silence.

From my mother who cries her eyes out daily...

from my sister who's breaking out in hives from the stress...

from the house thats become my cage...

a building that prevents me from breathing.

The pain is taking over.  Please save me Perfect Boy.

Save me from the darkness.

Save me from myself.

to know ill never be yours

broken hearts, death by the unknown

for me its just...the heartache

im only happy when im around you

you make me feel

so human

so inhuman

so beautiful

so amazing

i dont know

what to do

what to say

i dont know

who to turn to

beautiful masterpiece

or brilliant fake

who knows

who cares

you most certainly dont

i dont know

i really like you alot

i dont know

how you feel

i dont know

why this keeps happening

again

 and again

  and again

who can break this cycle?

will i ever find you my love

will i ever find myself

will i ever be loved

by the one i can call my own

without doubt

without fear

without wonder

without pain

im dying without you

from this heartache....

So who cares if im just a skinny white boy who just wants it alll...too much is never enough...I cant stand people who judge me but dont even know me...I'm learning now why people grow so cold...It's because of how fake the world is...Its so superficial..so imperfekt....its desperately in need of attention..Its an attention whore..its a gun...its a scalpal......its life.......life isnt supposed to be stereotypical so why do we just accept what we have??why dont we try to make things better..why do we hate where we should love.??why cant people stop the prejudice and have fun with living...we're all stuck here on this rock called earth.....shouldnt we make the best of it??

I voice my opinions but i really dont care if u like it or not...I think and thats what scares people..I dont "go with the flow"...as far as im concerned..It's just NOT WORTH IT...to be like everyone else..but here we find a dilemma..the more u try to be different..the more the same you are...so just be yourself....thats what people dont understand...to be yourself is to be different..to be yourself is to be an individual...better to be one in a million than one of a million...

any thoughts?

Yeah,, im so excited because I have been waiting for this for a long time...Since I was really little i can remember Me and my lil sis watching The Simpsons with my parents every night..It was our family "thing"....Now that I'm alot older It's funny how even though alot of things have changed, some things will always stay the same...